Where the flipping heck have I been?

week in photos #1 | robowecop

In the last two weeks I have posted 3 blog posts. That’s virtually one a week. And coming from someone who stresses out when she “only” posts 5 blog posts in a week (I know, I know) this is a real issue to me.

Now, I bet you’re expecting a sob story. A “life got in the way” story. Or at least an actual, legit reason for my sudden lack of enthusiasm for one of my favourite things in my life. Well, you aren’t going to get one.

Where the flipping heck have I been? I don’t know.

I don’t know where I’ve been. I’ve been at work, I’ve been at home, I’ve been weekly vlogging, I’ve been binge watching Harry Potter, I’ve been away from my keyboard. And none of this was a choice.

First, I went a day without a post. “It’s fine, it won’t kill anybody if I don’t schedule any tweets today. I, quite frankly, just cannot be bothered.” Then one day became three, three became five and I suddenly started to feel extremely guilty. “I’d love to do this whole internet/blog/youtube thing full time one day, I need to stop being so lazy.” “But I guess people are entitled to days off.” “My views are dropping so badly.” “I just can’t do it.”

To be honest, I still feel incredibly guilty about it. I haven’t gone that long without posting since I was doing my dissertation this time last year. Even when life was at it’s busiest/most stressful, I still had my blog to cheer me up/distract me/entertain me. But that hasn’t seemed enough recently. I just haven’t physically been able to pick up my laptop and write a blog post. And the “I don’t know why” part is the most frustrating bit.

Yes, I’ve had down days – who hasn’t. But it’s not even like I’ve spent the last two weeks in a vicious, anxious cycle or anything. I haven’t been too depressed to write, I haven’t been physically ill (until Wednesday when the worst cold in the whole world hit me but whatevs, that’s a separate thing), I feel like I haven’t actually had a reason to neglect my blog and that makes me feel even more guilty.

At least when you have a reason, there’s a reason. (Can I get a medal for stating the obvious, there?)

What I mean is, at least if there’s a reason for something, you can give that reason to people and they can be all “ah yeah, that’s cool bro”. But at the moment, my only reason is “I don’t know, I lost track of time and I just couldn’t be bothered.”

I can tell you one thing, though. It’s been nice. And it’s been a learning curve. Stepping away from something intentionally is one thing, doing it unintentionally is another thing entirely. I’ve learned that even when I only post once a week, I still get around 25,000 page views a month. (Trying to focus on that instead of “ohmygod my views have halved nobody will ever read again”.) I’ve learned that life carries on. I’ve learned that nobody dies (and to be honest, nobody really cares) if I take a bit of time off. I’ve learned that it’s actually really nice to sit and watch an entire TV show in 2 days with my boyfriend where neither of us are on our laptops.

I bet you’re also expecting me to say “so, that’s the end of that – I’m back, expect a post a day from now on and forever” but that’s not what I’m here to say. I’m here to say that I don’t know where I’ve been or why I’ve been gone but I hope you don’t mind too much. Even though I would love to blog full time one day, I’m not stupid and I know it’s not exactly just around the corner and I know that taking a few weeks off whilst I’m nowhere near being full time is a-okay. And it won’t affect any future prospects I have.

So, I don’t know. I’ve been gone, I might be back now or I might still only be here sporadically. I’m trying not to stress about it.

Cool.


If you liked this post, you might like 28 ways to add some positivity into your life or How to be more productive

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  • The Small Things Of Life

    Great post and really honest :-)

  • Glad you enjoyed your time off. To be honest I find it so frustrating when bloggers make out that life will stop or readers won’t know what to do with themselves if they miss a day blogging, I just wish they would relax a bit more and take these days off they need! Taking a bit of time off often restarts the passion and i’m sure the desire will come back to you soon. What are the next films to binge watch then? . . I’ve heard all the Twilights have been put on Netflix! :) x
    Amy at Amy & More

  • It’s totally okay to take a break. I’ve done it in the past, and I’m sure I’ll do it again in the future, intentional or otherwise. Enjoy some time for yourself, don’t stress about it, and come back when you’re ready! x http://www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

  • I relate to this so hard. I so many times like this last year where I struggled so much to blog. Being inspired didn’t help me, but a lot of it was what you’re talking about above! I’ve only in the last few months started taking blogging seriously, and I find when I’m creative and energised, I like to churn out and schedule as many posts as I can! That way whenever I have crappy days I don’t have to worry *too* much haha. We all need some time to ourselves and recharge, it’s cool, we all get it!

    Amanda Jayne | beauty, style, life

  • Pollypoptart

    We all need a break sometimes. And when it comes down to it, your blog is your space and you post when you want. :-) <3
    http://insertmyblognamehere.blogspot.com

  • Ms Beauty Glam

    I know how you feel! The last week I have only blogged twice and I feel like an utter failure. I love blogging but sometimes life hits you and sometimes, you’d rather do something else. When having a new blog, consistency is key. But sometimes, you need a couple days to yourself and I’m trying to realize that that is okay.

    Destiny xo | msbeautyglam.com

  • Girl, I feel ya! Before my recent trip, I started to duck out a little bit from the blogging scene (also for no particular reason) and have been really struggling to get back in the groove of it. I feel exactly the same as you…I just can’t be bothered some days! I feel like the change in weather that is just around the corner will make a lot of difference for me. I hope the same happens for you! But if it doesn’t, the world will not end, for either of us. :D

    Hillary | A Very Charmed Life

  • Holly

    I felt this way over the long Easter weekend. I planned to keep up my daily posting schedule and somehow time just ran away with me. At first I was like, oh my god what am I gonna do, I don’t have a post ready for tomorrow! But then, like you, I felt like it wasn’t really a big deal. So what if we take a break? Sometimes we need that little bit of time away to come back fresh :) Plus, who wouldn’t want to spend their time binge watching Harry Potter ;)

  • I feel the same way. I’ve been just kinda down in general and that makes summoning the motivation to blog particularly challenging. I’m nowhere near posting as much as you usually do and I was aiming for a consistent 4 posts a month for this year, but not even three months into the year I’m already slipping. Speaking of which, I think I’ll go write a post now :)

    Danielle
    http://www.solongusa.blogspot.com

  • Naomi Jenkins

    I know how you feel about the just not doing it. Since I’ve got back from my holidays It’s been hard to focus my brain! Banging out a post right now is so much more strenuous than normal! But take a break and enjoy time with your boyfriend and just be in the moment!

    Naomi / http://www.teatimewithnaomi.com