How vlogmas killed my creativity

How vlogmas killed my creativity | robowecop

I’m writing this post at 10:33pm on a Tuesday night because hey, when the need to write hits, it hits. And it happens so rarely at the moment I have to take advantage when it does strike. (But lol I’m deffo scheduling this post for the morning because #GoodBlogger.)

Arrested Development is on in the background (although, if I’m honest, I’m struggling to get into it) and Joe is sleeping next to me because he finished work for Christmas today and I think he’s having a “holy crap I don’t have to work for 2 weeks” type energy crash.

I feel the need to have a little catch up with you all because it suddenly dawned on me that I haven’t blogged in 15 days and didn’t even realise.

The internet (and more specifically, YouTube) is taking it’s toll on me at the moment and I want to talk about it.

It’s obviously apparent that I’m not taking part in blogmas but, in case you didn’t already know, I am currently on day 20 of vlogmas over on my YouTube channel. To tell the truth, filming and editing every single day is bloody hard – especially when I’ve spent roughly 17/18 days of these 20 feeling poorly. I feel proud of myself for getting so far in the challenge and I am going to continue until Christmas but it’s done the opposite of what I thought it would do.

I thought taking part in vlogmas would re-light the fire I used to hold for creating video content. I thought it would help my dwindling creativity levels and help me re-focus how I spend my time. (Vlogging tends to make me want to get out of the house and do more, even if just for the sake of content.) Instead, I feel drained of creativity, frustrated that I’ve been ill (resulting in what I believe to be sub-par content), and have been left resenting social media/the internet and the hold it has on me.

I’ve been getting so down on myself the last week or so because my video views are dropping and dropping. Having to film and edit every day means my blog, AKA the love of my life, has taken a serious back seat. Every/any negative comment has been taken straight to heart when I’d usually brush them off easily and even though I’m so close to completing what I consider to be a personal challenge, I feel deflated and a lot like I’ve failed.

I’ve always preferred blogging and writing content to youtube and creating videos, but YouTube was also simultaneously a separate creative outlet for me to turn to when writing wasn’t what I needed. But with effectively forcing myself to create so much content all in one go, all I’ve done is zapped myself of any and all of the creativity I had left. My love of filming has been drained from me and I’ve been left feeling like a shell.

I’ve already said in this post that I plan on continuing vlogmas until Christmas, but whether I actually do or not is another matter. I don’t want to quit so close to the end, but I also don’t know if I want to carry on. I guess I’ll just see how the next 5 days pan out.

For now, I’m going to read Big Magic (on several “if you aren’t feeling creative, read this book” recommendations) and brainstorm ways to feel happy with my content again. I miss blogging and I’m starting to resent vlogging and that’s just not how I want to be. I want to feel like me again. Creative, happy, full-of-ideas me.

And if that means “quitting” then so be it, I guess.

If you liked this post, you might like Where have I been? or What I want to achieve from life

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  1. 27th December 2016 / 11:32 pm

    There is no point in doing anything if it makes you unhappy. You have done so well and can be proud in yourself for that. Never feel bad for taking a back seat for yourself. xx

  2. 27th December 2016 / 11:55 am

    Vlogmas and similarly, Blogmas are incredibly hard to do. I couldn’t do it so you’ve done an awesome job x

    Erin |

  3. 24th December 2016 / 8:38 am

    Sometimes you don’t need to ‘quit’ you just need to take a break, recharge your batteries and fill you heart and mind with things you love again.

    Emma |

  4. 22nd December 2016 / 10:30 am

    Babe, the content you create in your vlogs is awesome and about a billion times better than what I’d EVER create so please give yourself a big pat on the back for that. I’ve enjoyed your vlogmas, but hopefully not at the expense your health! Please look after yourself Rhi.
    Merry Christmas,
    Bee xxx

  5. sophielaetitia
    22nd December 2016 / 10:08 am

    Do what is best for you! It is such a lot of work and you should be really proud that you did it! A lot of people that watch videos don’t even comment but they still really enjoy it! That said, I’m sure you can get to Christmas but make sure you take a well deserved break after! Maybe that will help refresh your inspiration and help you get back into blogging in the New Year!

  6. 22nd December 2016 / 12:14 am

    You should do what you feel is best. If stopping Vlogmas is what your heart is saying, then stop! Don’t do something just for the sake of it. FOLLOW YER HEART DEAR. As corny as it sounds, you should go with what you feel, deep down.

    Meg | Elmpetra

  7. 21st December 2016 / 11:01 pm

    I really admire anyone that attempts to do vlogmas/blogmas, it’s such a time consuming thing to do on top of all the other things you have to do in this busy season! So well done for at least giving it a go. Loved your honestly in this post.
    Just found your blog and am loving having a lil stalk of it!
    Holly x |

  8. 21st December 2016 / 7:13 pm

    I totally relate to this right now, only with blogmas! I thought it’d give me that kick I needed, get me back into creating content, and it did – for the first week. I’ve stuck to it just because I’m feeling stubborn, but I totally get the wanting to just give in. Do what’s right for you! x

  9. 21st December 2016 / 6:04 pm

    There is no shame in quitting, if quitting is going to satisfy your core desired feeling – that is to say, make you feel the way you want to feel. In fact, recognising that it’s not serving you and kicking it into touch is a great thing! It may even re-ignite some creativity. In the meantime, feeling poorly is probably not helping your mood and likely, your mood is not helping you to feel better physically. I hope you feel better soon. Wishing you all the best and a very Merry Yuletide. Sue x

  10. Yasmin Rebecca
    21st December 2016 / 5:33 pm

    I think not everything that you do is going to be guaranteed success, even if we hope or even assume that it will be. Every challenge is also a learning experience, and hopefully if you don’t feel your vlogmas has been up to scratch it will help you to make better content in the future. I think blogging every day for 24 days straight is hard, never mind vlogging, so you’ve done so well to do 20 videos and create watchable content! I really hope you finish your Vlogmas, and feel a little better to, and just feel proud that you actually accomplished 24 videos. Sometimes you just need to do these things to find out what’s working and what isn’t, and that can only help, not hinder you. Good luck with the rest of it and Merry Christmas too!

    Y x | The Sweet Seven Five

  11. Eve Greenow
    21st December 2016 / 2:48 pm

    Well done for standing up and writing this – blogging and vlogging is hard enough, let alone doing one every single day! Congratulations for doing so well so far – honestly your vlogs are so good and you should be so proud too! I decided against blogmas this year too, as it’s so draining and makes you resent everything! Keep up the hard work, and don’t consider ‘giving up’ as failure – make sure that you make YOU happy, and that will transcend into everything you do. XXX X

  12. 21st December 2016 / 12:09 pm

    I’ve often consider Blogmas to definitely be incredibly draining and possibly be mentally sapping in terms of creativity. Blogging is hard. Blogging everyday is harder. And, in my opinion, vlogging every day is even harder. There’s the filming, the editing. Gahh,all too much. That you’ve made it this far is, I think a massive achievement. Don’t consider it a failure if you don’t continue! x x

  13. Rosie
    21st December 2016 / 11:51 am

    This post isn’t a important! I love blogmas/vlogmas but I couldn’t possibly put myself through it with a job, a life etc! I love your content and I’ll be glad to have you back on the blogger side once you’ve rested!

  14. 21st December 2016 / 11:47 am

    This is exactly the reason I didn’t do blogmas, since I know myself and knew that something similar would happen to me. I decided to simply use the blogmas/vlogmas energy around me as motivation to write more often, but didn’t set myself a schedule.

    If it makes you feel any better, I’ve really enjoyed your vlogmas videos and looked forward to your uploads every day. However, I definitely understand that it takes its toll, and I would prefer that you do as much or as little as makes you happy rather than always having a new video to watch. I look forward to your upcoming blog and vlog content, regardless of upload schedule!

    Danielle |

  15. Lady Writes
    21st December 2016 / 11:35 am

    I can relate to this so much because I tried Blogmas last year and it really sucked all enjoyment out of the one thing I use to keep me passionate, creative and happy – my blog. I learnt that to force myself to write just to meet an invisible standard (one a day) put so much pressure on me that it nearly ruined something I loved so much. So I stopped – and didn’t try this year. Blogging means too much to me to ruin it myself with pressure like that. So I totally understand where you’re coming from. If it’s any consolation I love your blog and content, and any slowing down in views/page views is down to the season and people being busy etc – and no reflection on your wonderful content. You’re still amazing at what you do so don’t let Vlogmas suck your enthusiasm so dry you forget that. XXX

  16. Stephanie Hartley
    21st December 2016 / 11:03 am

    I’ve been missing your blog posts recently, and I’m so sad to hear you’ve been feeling so rubbish! Vlogmas is SUCH a massive challenge, and it must be really tough not to have a day ‘off’ as it were. Maybe a break from daily vlogging would help to get your creativity back, or maybe even talking about how you’re feeling on your vlogs might help?

    Sending love, Steph –

  17. 21st December 2016 / 8:41 am

    I completely understand how that’s happened and it’s a huge shame. Having to create content everyday sounds very tiring indeed and having to create new content everyday sounds even harder! You should be so proud that you’ve got this far though and maybe just think about what it was that you enjoyed about it so much before to either decide what content to upload over the next few days or if it’s what you feel you need, don’t continue with it.

    You seem to have the right idea of what to do next, I need to get this book, I’ve heard so many brilliant things! I always love your posts and – though I don’t have time to watch many vlogs – I’m sure they’re brilliant too (a good personality always shines through!) so don’t feel disheartened!

    JosieVictoriaa // Fashion, Travel & Lifestyle

  18. 21st December 2016 / 8:38 am

    I can imagine that vlogging every day is quite the challenge so you should be proud of yourself for making it this far :) Feeling your creativity levels go down always sucks but hey, it happens. Don’t beat yourself up for it. I’m sure you’ll feel inspired and happy with your content again, wishing you all the best x


  19. 21st December 2016 / 7:48 am

    I think we all get frustrated and exhausted by our content at times – I’ve been putting crazy pressure on myself this week to get the blog tied up for Christmas, I’m feeling so tired and run down!

    After our trip to Mercure I did a little online stalk of all the other bloggers that were there and started watching your Vlogmas and really loved it – you’re so personable on camera and I honestly think if you stick with it you could go far! I’m looking forward to catching up with the rest of it.

    I hope you have a nice rest over Christmas to recharge

  20. 21st December 2016 / 7:10 am

    Filming every day for vlogmas is a massive achievement, and not one to be played down. Your blog will always be here for whenever you feel inspired again :) x

    Everything But The Kitchen