*Struggles to not use a Britney Spears ‘Stronger’ quote*
You know what’s shit? Redundancy. Redundancy is shit.
I feel like I’ve negatively talked/moaned/vented a lot about my recent life situation on here and on Twitter, but what I haven’t talked about is what it feels like to come out the other side.
In case you somehow haven’t seen (where have you been? I haven’t shut up about it yet), about a week and a half ago I was offered a new job almost 6 months after I was made redundant from my last job. It’s a REALLY exciting digital marketing position with some incredible opportunities (woah I sound so adult) and what’s best is that it’s a 5 minute walk from my house! Goodbye extortionate train fares and hello weekday lie ins!
Basically, today, I wanted to just have a little chat with you guys about what I’ve learned over the last 6 months and what’s going to be happening with my online life over the next few weeks. So, grab a cuppa and let’s have a bit of a heart to heart.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it – redundancy is the absolute worst. It has been the worst time of my life and I’ve been tested in so many ways. My mental health has been at an all time low, I lost a lot of enthusiasm for life in general, I have NO money, my diet has gone to shit, I’ve had to deal with rejection after rejection and, to be honest, I just got so tired.
Being made redundant so suddenly is a real blow. I didn’t work at my old job long enough to get any sort of payout (except for being given a month’s notice and therefore a month’s extra wage) and I was just left completely lost.
For those of you that don’t know, I did a design degree. Then, during a work placement year I started this blog, fell in love with writing/social media/the internet in general. I went back to University for my final year, realising I didn’t want to do design anymore and wanted to pursue a career in social media/content/digital marketing. Long story short, the company I worked at during my placement hired me to do just that and I was SO grateful, because I had no relevant degree and no experience (other than my blog, of course – which was pretty much the reason I got the job in the first place).
Having such a big career change with very little actual experience was a risk, and although it has paid off eventually, it didn’t stand me in good stead when I was let go from my old job. With interviews over the last 6 months, it was constantly a case of “you were up against one other person but they just had more experience”.
Meh, I got over it. Life happens and all that.
Anyway, back to the point. I HAVE A JOB AND REDUNDANCY IS SHIT.
I feel like this huge weight has been lifted. I can start planning for the future again, planning to move out of Joe’s parent’s house, planning to buy a car, planning to actually get my life moving again. I feel like for the past 6 months I’ve been at a total stand still and honestly, it’s been the worst feeling.
I mean, sure, I’m in a much worst position now than I would have been if I’d had a wage for the last 6 months. My savings have disappeared and I’m back at the bottom end of my £2k graduate overdraft. But, with a new job comes new opportunities. I’ll be spending nothing on travel, an Aldi has just opened down the road, I’m making more money off my blog than ever (even though it’s still nowhere near enough to live off) and I really feel like the future is finally looking bright again.
Over the past 6 months I’ve realised how strong I can be. I thought that this would completely break me, and although it’s been incredibly difficult, I don’t quite feel broken. My mental health is already back on the up knowing I’ll have stability again, I’m excited to get back to the gym (it’s only a 5 minute walk from work YES) and I’m honestly the happiest I’ve been in months.
I’m excited for the future. I’ve learned how strong I can be, how I AM capable of tackling difficult situations and it’s given me a huge boost of faith in myself. I kept reassuring myself that everything is temporary and I was right. I’ve come out the other side of a shitty situation much stronger than I ever could have imagined.
I’ve learned so much about myself, I feel like for the first time in my life I know who I am, what I want and how I cope with things. I’m becoming happier in myself and with myself because of it all. I didn’t believe it when people said it to me at the start, but I do think this could become one of the best things that’s happened to me.
In terms of the blog and YouTube, I don’t really know what’s happening but I know I’m going to be a little quieter in terms of content over the next few weeks. I tried to get some content scheduled last week to keep everything ticking over, but to be honest I didn’t do very well and there aren’t as many as I’d hoped. So, apologies if I go AWOL for a while. Gotta get re-used to a 9-5:30 job and all that.
The YouTube channel has been quiet for a couple of months and it will probably stay that way for the foreseeable future. Idk, I’ve kind of fallen out of love with it, but that’s that and we’ll see what happens.
This post has been v rambly and probably a little pointless but I DON’T CARE I HAVE A JOB.
Here’s to the future looking brighter, knowing we’re strong enough to tackle anything and the constant reassurance that everything is temporary.
And a big thank you to anyone and everyone online who were constantly there for me. You’re all the best and your kind words have kept me going. I love you all <3