A couple of day sago I said to myself “tomorrow, you’re going to get up early and write a blog post before work.”
I forgot to set my alarm earlier, so it was a total bust. But that’s not the point.
I said this because I am so horrifically busy every single day this week, there would be literally no other time for me to create any content. And, as much as I’ve shit on the whole actually uploading content thing over the past couple of months, I am trying. I know it doesn’t always look like it, but I’m really trying.
I have two major problems when it comes to this part of my life. (“This part” meaning everything I want to do outside of my 9-5 office job.)
- I want to do far too much.
- I’m incredibly, ridiculously, unbelievably shit at balancing my time
So, let’s address the first one, shall we? This blog has always been an online diary of sorts. Or at least, partly anyway. So it’s only right that I moan about my life on here.
I want to do too much. Would you like a list of all the things I want to do?
I want to blog consistently, ideally 4+ blog posts a week. I want to re-start YouTube, ideally 2 videos a week. I want to paint more, draw more, create more. I want to open an online shop where I can sell the aforementioned ~creative things~. I want to put my newsletter out every single week without ever forgetting. I want to start a podcast. I want to do cool things like workshops and ebooks about interesting stuff that people want to read/learn about.
On top of that? I also want to have a social life, have down time with Joe, move house in the new year, do well at my 9-5, go to the gym, eat healthy, do yoga and meditate maybe once a day, binge watch about 100 different TV shows, have really long baths, go on a few holidays/trips a year, see my family more, cook more, and probably some other stuff as well.
So, what’s the problem? Aside from the obvious thing being I want to do far too much than one person is reasonably capable of.
I’m shit at balance.
I’m absolutely and completely terrible at successfully balancing my time.
You see, I’m the type of person who has favourite things to do. One week, my favourite thing to do might be blogging. The next week, I may want to Netflix binge the evening away. The week after I may want to go to the gym every night (although, admittedly, that last one is unlikely).
This is all well and good for the thing I want to do at the time, but for the other things that need doing it’s not the best.
I’m one of these people that constantly preaches how important balance is, and yet I don’t seem to be actually capable of it myself. I’m forever using things as an excuse but passing it off as something I need. An example: “you don’t have to blog if you don’t feel like it”. Whilst this is true, I’m never going to get to the place I want to be (AKA full time blogging) by taking weeks at a time off because “I don’t feel like it”.
I think my problem is I’m too lenient with myself. I allow myself to be lazy whilst denying it’s laziness, pinning the blame on something else. I need to realise what it is I want to achieve, what goals I have and how I get there, and I need to be damn stern with myself.
And to be honest, there is a balance there. I can’t work 9-5 all day, blog for an hour beforehand, go to the gym for an hour after, have a social life, spend time with Joe, start some more side hustles AND have downtime. I just can’t do that 24/7 – I’ll burn out.
But what I can do is try get better at balancing my time effectively. It’s a journey and it will be a learning curve, but I really want to utilise my time better. Because at the moment, the fact I’ve convinced myself I can’t do so many things is just making me miserable.
I’m quickly realising there isn’t *really* an ending to this post, other than this: I’m shit at balance. But I’m going to get better.
S H O P T H E O U T F I T