I’m shit at balance and I want to do too much

I'm shit at balance and I want to do too much | rhianna olivia

A couple of day sago I said to myself “tomorrow, you’re going to get up early and write a blog post before work.”

I forgot to set my alarm earlier, so it was a total bust. But that’s not the point.

I said this because I am so horrifically busy every single day this week, there would be literally no other time for me to create any content. And, as much as I’ve shit on the whole actually uploading content thing over the past couple of months, I am trying. I know it doesn’t always look like it, but I’m really trying.

I have two major problems when it comes to this part of my life. (“This part” meaning everything I want to do outside of my 9-5 office job.)

  1. I want to do far too much.
  2. I’m incredibly, ridiculously, unbelievably shit at balancing my time

So, let’s address the first one, shall we? This blog has always been an online diary of sorts. Or at least, partly anyway. So it’s only right that I moan about my life on here.

I want to do too much. Would you like a list of all the things I want to do?

I want to blog consistently, ideally 4+ blog posts a week. I want to re-start YouTube, ideally 2 videos a week. I want to paint more, draw more, create more. I want to open an online shop where I can sell the aforementioned ~creative things~. I want to put my newsletter out every single week without ever forgetting. I want to start a podcast. I want to do cool things like workshops and ebooks about interesting stuff that people want to read/learn about.

On top of that? I also want to have a social life, have down time with Joe, move house in the new year, do well at my 9-5, go to the gym, eat healthy, do yoga and meditate maybe once a day, binge watch about 100 different TV shows, have really long baths, go on a few holidays/trips a year, see my family more, cook more, and probably some other stuff as well.

So, what’s the problem? Aside from the obvious thing being I want to do far too much than one person is reasonably capable of.

I’m shit at balance.

I’m absolutely and completely terrible at successfully balancing my time.

You see, I’m the type of person who has favourite things to do. One week, my favourite thing to do might be blogging. The next week, I may want to Netflix binge the evening away. The week after I may want to go to the gym every night (although, admittedly, that last one is unlikely).

This is all well and good for the thing I want to do at the time, but for the other things that need doing it’s not the best.

I'm shit at balance and I want to do too much | rhianna olivia
I'm shit at balance and I want to do too much | rhianna olivia

I’m one of these people that constantly preaches how important balance is, and yet I don’t seem to be actually capable of it myself. I’m forever using things as an excuse but passing it off as something I need. An example: “you don’t have to blog if you don’t feel like it”. Whilst this is true, I’m never going to get to the place I want to be (AKA full time blogging) by taking weeks at a time off because “I don’t feel like it”.

I think my problem is I’m too lenient with myself. I allow myself to be lazy whilst denying it’s laziness, pinning the blame on something else. I need to realise what it is I want to achieve, what goals I have and how I get there, and I need to be damn stern with myself.

And to be honest, there is a balance there. I can’t work 9-5 all day, blog for an hour beforehand, go to the gym for an hour after, have a social life, spend time with Joe, start some more side hustles AND have downtime. I just can’t do that 24/7 – I’ll burn out.

But what I can do is try get better at balancing my time effectively. It’s a journey and it will be a learning curve, but I really want to utilise my time better. Because at the moment, the fact I’ve convinced myself I can’t do so many things is just making me miserable.

I’m quickly realising there isn’t *really* an ending to this post, other than this: I’m shit at balance. But I’m going to get better.

S H O P   T H E   O U T F I T

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  • Reading this felt like you were inside my head; I am totally with you on hopping from favourite thing to favourite thing. For a few weeks I’ll binge read, and then I’ll storm through a TV show in the next couple. I find it so hard to divide myself up into all sorts of things whilst also making sure I am getting enough rest. As soon as I make a little progress, something disrupts the routine and I’m all over the shop again… Something that helps me is knowing that no one knows exactly what they are doing, and most of the time everyone else is just winging it too – I guess it’s just a case of learning how to make the most of your time along the way! :-)

  • This is exactly how I’ve been feeling for quite a while now. Thanks for sharing, makes me feel less alone. I keep telling myself I need to do this and that but then I don’t and if I don’t force myself to sit down and blog and do other things I avoid it for weeks which is dumb because then I have much more work to do! Maybe a solution is setting aside some time each day to do those tasks, at least it’s worth a try.

    Anna | dropsofanna.blogspot.com

  • Fab post hun … I’ve got so much better at this lately (aside from the epic, migraine inducing fail I had last week) but its one of those things that doesn’t come naturally and that you get better at over time.

    Keep plugging away, you’ll get there!

    Emma | HarmonyBlaze.co.uk

  • I get this so much. I focus on one hobby each week… WHY can’t I balance everything out nicely?

    I was thinking of creating a timetable, so I know after work, I will spend X amount of time on this and then the next day I will spend X amount of time on something different. Maybe this could help? Even if you don’t stick to it religiously, it might keep things different each day so you feel excited to do each hobby. I don’t know, it’s something I’m going to try out!

    Hannah x
    https://hannahnotes.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Yup. I have to agree. Always saying i don’t have the time to do xyz but in reality all i’ve done is sit on the sofa doing sweet fa! I need to be more motivated with my down time without sacrificing the areas of my life which make me happiest. It’s all about balance. Slowly come to realise i can’t so it all & that’s ok!!
    But i am determined to take some blog pics for my posts this week & get them all sorted so i can relax & look forward to planning my new Baking Series posts & Christmas Gift Guide! Having something to focus on is making me very happy & I know what to do when I feel a bit overwhelmed with it all. Having those tools really makes a difference to my overall Mental Health & as a result I’m happier to be around – i hope?!
    Anyway, thanks for another awesome post Rhianna.
    Just know you’re doing fine.
    Xoxoxo

  • Just…this. We’re so guilty of wanting to do it all and live the perfect, health-conscious, well balanced life but time just runs out! Working a 8-5, commuting to and from said job, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, walking the dog and then having time to relax is hard work! But, I’ve found blogging on lunch hour works out best so I get to look after my house and spend an hour in the bath at night watching YouTube. Life is so busy we’re always thinking about moving onto the next then cursing ourselves for not achieving. It’s silly. Take time to rest and reward yourself after a day at work. Slowly everything comes together! Ruth // http://www.ruth-writes.co.uk

  • Tara Joy

    This post was everything I needed to hear. I’m the same way. Working 8 hours a day, writing posts working out, taking blog post photos, working on social media, cleaning the apartment, and then having time to relax is just unrealistic to every single day. I don’t know how manage all the thing I want to do. I didn’t think I was this ambitious until reading this and realizing I am trying t get myself to do such an unreasonable amount of things!

    Tara Joy | beauandbows.co

  • I’ve JUST written a post very similar to this, as I’m currently off work sick having done too much. I’m always doing too much and it’s so hard to fit everything in! I’m good at managing time but I never ever make time to rest and it’s so important xx

    Jessie | allthingsbeautiful-x

  • Sophie Mace

    Relate to this soon much! I’m awful at it and I’m trying to get better but its seemingly impossible at the moment!

    sophievmace.blogspot.co.uk xx

  • Courtney Hardy

    I know your struggle! It always seems like there is never enough time to do anything, and it’s hard to wind down because you know that there is still so much to do.
    http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/

  • I 100% agree with everything in this post Rhianna! I’m constantly wanting to do more even though I often feel like I’m burning out! I think it’s a very common occurrence in today’s society; we’re all so tired and busy but we still constantly want more! xx

  • I swear my post today, was meant for you!
    Bee xxx

  • Yasmin Rebecca

    I agree, there’s never enough time! Even when I want me time I end up doing my blog or doing something that isn’t relaxing. I think a mid year goal for me should definitely be sorting out my balance.

    Yasmin x
    The Sweet Seven Five

  • There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do everything sadly. So I guess it’s maybe about prioritising 1 or 2 of all of those things you want to be doing and then trying to establish where you can fit them in, once you’ve nailed that you could then consider trying to work in a 3rd or 4th thing. You’ll get there! We all struggle with this at one point or another xx

    Ioanna | hearting.co.uk

  • This is EXACTLY how I’m feeling at the moment too. One minute I say I want to put my all into blogging and give it my full attention, the next I’m saying I deserve to spend my time outside of my full time job to just chill. Finding balance is ridiculously hard when you’ve got a lot list of things you want to achieve but hopefully you’ll be able to find some sort of happy medium!

    Jess | Jess Who

  • I think everyone feels like this a lot of the time, you’re not alone! I have a toddler to add into the mix too. Eek! It often feels like my brain is on constant overload, it never switches off. I think the thing to remember is that you have to have ‘down time’ to ensure that you can do all the things you need to do regularly. I find that writing lists really helps me, maybe making an action plan for the week or a period of a few days might help? I think you can only do you, do what you want when you want, and however the hell you want to do it! (as hard as that is to live by!) xx

  • I wish I could offer you some advice here, because this all rings so true, but my solution was to stop working full time and that’s not a solution for everybody. It’s not even a solution for ME right now if I’m being honest.

    I need to get back into having dates with a planner. I’ve pre-ordered a Passion Planner and I am super excited about it, it’s a system that’s worked really well for a friend whose entire life is (very successful) side hustles. Right now I’m blogging in bed with a killer stomach ache when all I want is to read a book and go to sleep though, so what do I know.

    Lis / last year’s girl x

  • This is exactly how I am feeling at the moment and it is so frustrating. I feel like all I am ever doing is working at my day job, working on my blog, driving between home and work, and working out when I can. But even with no downtime I am still not getting anywhere near the amount that I want to do done, not to mention all the other things I’d like to have time for like read, cook and you know, talk to my poor long-suffering boyfriend. Balance is hard to achieve, but hopefully we will both start getting better at it! xxx

    Sophie | Sophar So Good

  • I feel like this all the time. There’s always so much I want to do, and never enough hours in the day. And trying to find that perfect balance to get all those things done can be really hard. I don’t have the answer, unfortunately, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. You might find setting yourself a plan of action for the week helps? Some might find it restrictive but it does help me. I set out what I want to do outside of my 9-5 and when I’m going to do them; which day and what time. It can help to see that balance in front of you and know you’re doing as much of what you want to as you physically can! x http://www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

  • I really feel for you, I feel exactly the same way. I guess the ultimate message is that we do what we want, when we want to and try not to sweat trying to fit everything in? Here’s to doing whatever the f we want to! Frankie x

    http://www.joieandthevivre.com

  • I’ve been feeling this a lot lately. I’ve recently put blogging on the back burner to focus on building a small freelance web design biz. My 9-5 is also web design/dev though, so by the time 6pm rolls around I don’t *really* feel like doing more design and code. But if I ever want it to be my full time gig (which would be YEARS off — post UK-citizenship and house buying at least!) I know I should be pushing myself to put in the time. It’s hard though with a cuddly girlfriend and doggy waiting on the sofa every evening!

    Aisling | prettycontent.net

  • THIS. Completely and utterly related to this post. I’ve found that I’m starting to get a teeeeeennnyyyy grasp on my life, but there really aren’t enough hours in a day. I live 2 and a half hours away from my family and wish I could see them more every single day, but I just don’t have the time. I try to see them at least every six weeks, but with weekends being my only free time it’s hard. I work 9:30-6:30 and get home at 7:45pm every night and by the time I’ve had my dinner & a cuppa, I just can’t be bothered to do a lot else. I’ve started going to the gym on my lunch, so hoping that clears my mind a bit. As an outsider looking in, if one thing is for certain, you’re incredibly driven and hard working. I always find making a list of the things that I want to do and then on the other side doing the things that I need to do. Map them all out, have a look, step away and then have a look again. Be realistic and don’t be too hard on yourself. You can do whatever you put your mind to xx

    ohsomint.com

  • Yes gal. I feel exactly the same, all good intentions but sometimes I just simply don’t have hours in the day left! I realise when I am typing away on my laptop at 11pm with Matt asleep next to me that actually, there needs to be a cut off point. In order for me to find some sort of balance, I need to first establish when my down time is and work around that! Impossible task lol! Immy x

    http://www.immymay.com

  • I think so many people can relate to this Rhianna! I find that some weeks I’m really good at finding a good balance and other weeks I’m rubbish at it. It seems to swing in roundabouts! It’s so difficult when you’re working full time and trying to blog x

    Jenny | LuxeStyle