Deciding to go at my own pace

Deciding to go at my own pace | rhianna olivia

It’s only a couple of days since I wrote a post about how I’m feeling overwhelmed with all the things I want to do, whilst simultaneously being terrible at balancing it all. The response I’ve had from the post has been so amazing – from people saying they struggle with the same thing, to people giving me some really great advice on how best to manage my time.

Since writing it, I’ve been thinking about all the things I want to do even more. And I’ve decided to go at my own pace.

It may not sound like much of a revelation, but to me it really does feel like one.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been an incredibly impatient person. As soon as I get an idea in my head, I want to do it RIGHT NOW. And if I can’t, I just get frustrated. It’s not a great quality if I’m honest, but there we go.

I also have this thing where I need to be the best at things. It’s very annoying and the older I get the better I’m getting at not caring, but it’s still there.

I have a long list in my head of things I want to do and things I want to achieve in the next couple of years. Some are new projects, some are seeing out current projects. Some are big life events and some are smaller, more personal things. As much as, in an ideal world, I’d like to do them all now, I know that’s not possible. There simply aren’t enough hours in the day or enough money in the bank.

It may sound silly, but I’m waiting for the new year to start a lot of them. My main priority for the rest of this year is saving some money so we can move out after Christmas. That is my focus. My non-financial focus is my blog and re-starting my YouTube channel. (More on THAT bombshell here.) I feel like some people may see this as an excuse, but I do genuinely believe once we’re in our own place, everything will fall into place. I’ll be able to branch out and start some of these projects. I’ll be able to dedicate more time to things. I’ll be able to really get to where I want to be.

In a world where being constantly busy is glamorized and sought after, I’m saying no. I’m saying I need time to stop every so often. I need to not be busy 24/7. I don’t care if that makes me less of a #girlboss to be honest – I’d rather stay happy and take longer to do something than stress myself out trying to work to the impossible deadlines and pressure we put on ourselves.

People work at different paces, things happen at different times for different people, just because I’m not doing exactly what I want right now doesn’t mean I won’t ever. (Deja vu or what?)

So, I’m going at my own pace.

I’m forcing my impatient side to sit back and take a breather.

Everything will happen it’s own time. I can’t burn myself out in the meanwhile trying to do too much.

And until I have the time and energy to start some of the things on my list, I have over 6 months to sit and brainstorm. I think this means I can treat myself to a new notebook, yes?



  1. 18th August 2017 / 3:27 pm

    Hell yes! I am so guilty of being impatient and wanting to do all the things, RIGHT NOW. But we all put too much pressure on ourselves and then wonder why we can’t deal with it! x x

  2. 16th August 2017 / 10:11 am

    Go get yourself that notebook, brainstorming and writing lists really makes me feel more settled – having all my ideas in one place. Taking this slow, at your own pace is the best idea, and I’m excited to see your YT content!

    Amy x

  3. Shannon Clark
    15th August 2017 / 9:04 pm

    Good on you! This is definitely something that I need to get better at doing in my own life. I’m constantly trying to add more to my already busy schedule because I feel as though I need to when in reality what I really need to do is slow down a bit!

    Shannon |

  4. 15th August 2017 / 1:31 pm

    Get the notebook girl, you deserve it!

    Taking life at your own pace is so important and something that I have slowly learnt this year – can’t wait to see you new YT content.

    Emma |

  5. Sue J (Suzy Homemaker)
    15th August 2017 / 10:25 am

    Good for you! In amongst the wealth of #GirlBoss #Sleepisforpussies drivel, I see shining beacons like you reminding us that it’s OK to take time out, to take things at our own pace, to find balance. Thank you xx

  6. 12th August 2017 / 9:36 am

    I can relate to what you said about wanting to be the best at things. I struggle with a similar pressure, but I would phrase it as needing to do everything as well as I can, not necessarily being the best at it. (I guess I want to do my own personal best, not be the best out of everyone.) I struggled with that a lot while I was writing my thesis, to the point where I would often be paralyzed with fear that I wasn’t going to do something “right.” I’m still working on accepting that good enough is actually good enough.

    I think it’s really true that being in your own place, or more accurately being in a physical space in which you are comfortable, goes a long way towards helping other things in your life fall into place. When I finally moved in with my husband after being together for four and a half years and being married for six months, it was the most liberated I’ve ever felt, and I was able to start thinking about something other than finally moving in with him. After that move I felt much happier and I made more forward progress in my life than I had in the last few years. I think focusing on that one goal of having your own place and letting some other things go for now is a really good approach.

    Danielle |

  7. BridgetJoj
    11th August 2017 / 6:11 pm

    Lovely :) sometimes you need to slow down to move forward 😘


  8. Meghan Baxter
    11th August 2017 / 5:51 pm

    This post sounds eerily like my inner monologue. I’m going through the exact same thing! I’m glad I’m not alone!

    Meghan | The Lipstick Philosopher

  9. Abigail Huggan
    11th August 2017 / 4:19 pm

    This!! It’s like you and Joe between you have this uncanny way of writing posts at the exact time I need to read them. I’m in a position at the moment where I’m trying to figure out my life and feeling a little in limbo because I’m waiting to hear back about my masters application. I have been feeling a lot of pressure to get my life together and I feel like there is a lot of pressure for women to be bossing their life by going a million miles an hour all the time. I know I don’t have all the time and money in the world to get a job but this post helped me realise that I shouldn’t feel like I’m failing my life if I don’t get interviews or job offers for the first few jobs I apply for.


  10. Abi Street
    11th August 2017 / 2:34 pm

    I think moving out will probably be the best thing for you! It’ll give you more freedom, the creativity boost to make your house a home and just overall be something to look forward to!! x

    Abi | abistreetx

  11. Mihaela
    11th August 2017 / 11:29 am

    Deciding to go at your own pace is the best decision ever! As human beings we cannot focus on too many things at the same time, it’s simply not part of our nature. There’s a great book I’m reading at the moment. It’s called The Power of Habit and it’s about succeeding by transforming your habits. I think you may find it useful x

  12. Jess Acorn
    11th August 2017 / 10:13 am

    I think you’re definitely doing the right thing, I keep a note book full of all the things I want to do from little DIY projects to big life changing things and whenever I get some time I pick something to start working on

    Jess x

  13. charlotte samantha
    11th August 2017 / 9:35 am

    i loved reading this post! This is exactly how I have been feeling at the moment. We moved back in with my parents last November to save for a house but I then started an apprenticeship which means I am getting paid pennies- saving for a house is further away. I feel like Im trying to rush things, and want something to look forward to now rather than just my house next year. I need to learn to slow down and let everything fall into the right place.
    Thankyou for this post!

    CharlotteSamantha //

  14. 11th August 2017 / 8:35 am

    I totally agree with you – I took on way too much for a while and I learnt the hard way it was a bad idea! Good luck with saving to move out x

    Jenny | LuxeStyle