For the last four and a bit years, blogging has been my main priority. (Or, at least, one of my largest priorities – in those four years I’ve also written a dissertation, hunted for jobs, had jobs, moved etc). But right now? It isn’t.
And I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t freaking me out a little bit.
And don’t get me wrong, it’s not freaking me out in a “OH MY GOD I DON’T HAVE TIME TO BLOG EVERYONE WILL FORGET ABOUT ME” way. It’s more of a “I don’t actually care about the fact I don’t have time to blog right now, because I want to put other things first for a while”.
It’s the fact I’m so nonchalant about the whole thing that’s freaking my head out. Because that’s never happened before. I’m a stressed person by nature – I overthink everything. I don’t know how/why I’m so chill about this.
This is going to be the least eloquent blog post ever, in case you hadn’t already figured that out for yourself.
I know you all know I started a new job a few weeks ago because I literally can’t stop talking about how fucking amazing it is. It’s the first time in my life I’ve had a job that I adore, that’s perfect for me and that I know I’m good at. My hours are longer than I’m used to because there’s a slight commute (AKA it’s 30-40 mins in the car, opposed to my last job which was a literal 5 minute walk from my flat), I’m travelling up and down the country for different site visits and I’m just really trying to give it my all. And not because I have to, but because I want to.
Previously, at every time in my life over the last 4 years, whatever I’ve had going on, my blog has been an escape from life stresses. A way for me to write, a way for me to forget about things, a way for me to really get creative. But now? My job is busy, but not all that stressful. And it’s also got a lot of creative scope on my end, unlike anywhere else I’ve ever worked. My thirst to be creative with all things digital is well and truly quenched.
On top of all that, there’s something about blogging that just isn’t doing it for me right now. I find Twitter drains me of all energy about 80% of the time because it’s filled to the brim with absolute nobbers. Instagram is great, but I’ve not been AS in love with it since all the changes to algorithms etc. (Although sometimes I feel like the only person in the world who doesn’t care what’s going on with my Instagram feed/follower count).
I’m also severely lacking inspiration with actual blogging, seeing as half the ~blogosphere~ is constantly moaning blogging is dead (which, for the record, I couldn’t disagree with more) and the other half is just all writing the same shit day-in, day-out.
Truth be told, I’m bored.
Obviously it goes without saying there are some creators I still absolutely adore, who smash it out of the park every single time they even so much as breathe. But, as I get older and as my priorities change, the things I want to read are also changing. I want to read things that make me think, things that educate me, or things that are bursting at the seams with creativity and individuality. I don’t want to read another post about how blogging is/isn’t dead or ~how to grow your instagram followers in 10 easy steps~. (Lol at the absolute irony of that sentence when I have written thousands of those posts. Feel free to call me a dick, because I 100% am one).
I feel like I need to add a disclaimer in here that if you choose to write/read posts like that because you enjoy it, that’s fine. Just talking about my personal preference here, fellas. (Although the fact I feel like I have to disclaim that kind of hammers down my point, really).
I want to create content I love. Content that I’m proud of. Content that you guys love, that allows me to be creative and that is different to things I see 24/7 everywhere else. And, at the moment, I just don’t feel like I have the want, need or ability to do that. So I’m taking step back for a while until inspiration strikes.
If you’re looking for a conclusion to this post, I can’t really think of how to conclude to be honest. I’m not ~quitting blogging~, but I’m not going to be around as much. I’m going to write posts as and when I want to. I don’t feel remotely guilty about not being around as much, which is a new sensation for me. And if you have any recommendations for super awesome creative creators, please send them my way.
Love you all endlessly for putting up with my incessant rambling <3