As I sit writing this post, it is early afternoon on January 1st 2018. I’m sat in PJs with a brew, there’s a sleeping cat to one side of me and Joe to the other.
I, rather miraculously, don’t have a hangover even though we were up until after 2am watching Drag Race All Stars 2 and drunk on one too many G&Ts. (The best way to bring in a new year, just FYI.)
I made stacks of pancakes for breakfast and had a long, hot shower and a face mask afterwards. Last night, Netflix announced they had put up every season of Friends and our flat is spotless (and feels a little bare) after taking the decorations down yesterday afternoon.
On the flipside, I’ve had a rash under my arms, down my arms to my elbows and along my chest for about a week and it’s slowly driving me insane. And I came on my period this morning so hello period pain.
Swings and roundabouts, hey?
I don’t really know where I’m going with this post. I just felt like writing and reflecting on 2017, so that’s what I’m going to do. I feel like there’s going to be a lot of this in 2018 – me doing something because I want to, rather than because I feel like I have to.
I tend to do reflective posts every year. I find it a good way to build goals and gain closure from the year just gone. And, often, there are little things that are worth celebrating you may have forgotten about.
All over social media, people are gleefully wishing away 2017. Which I get. I totally understand. For the world in general, 2017 was a really weird (and often outright shitty) year. But, for me at least, 2017 was simply amazing.
Is it okay to feel a little guilty about that? I don’t know – I guess because there have been so many tragedies, political problems and tension in the world, I feel like my life should have reflected that and it just didn’t.
This time last year, we brought in 2017 in a very similar way in which we brought in 2018. We were on our friend’s sofa getting drunk, watching telly and playing card games. We ended up walking home because we couldn’t get a taxi and it was wonderful to walk through the streets with a strange combination sense of calm and joy. New Year’s Day 2017 was spent relaxing and eating curry, which was a welcomed change from all the gravy covered roasted food over the Christmas period.
But then came the 2nd January. People were heading back to work, Christmas was over, I had nothing to focus on. I was jobless (and only halfway through my period of redundancy) and I spent most of January in a cycle of anxiety and depression. I would never have believed you if you’d have told me how incredible my 2017 was going to be.
In 2017, I got a job I adore, I got out of my student overdraft, I spent so much wonderful time with family and made so many memories. I held down the job I love, I made more money from my blog than ever, I became financially secure for the first time in my life. I travelled, I saw new places, I went to events, I was given opportunities I could only dream of.
I made friends for life, I solidified friendships I already had, I watched those close to me grow as people. I grew. I gained confidence in myself I never thought I’d have. I discovered new passions.
And, to top it all off, the cherry on top of the cake that was 2017, Joe and I finally moved into our own flat.
I started 2017 feeling low and unable to see how my life would pan out. I’ve started 2018 on the biggest high possible – in our own place, with our own plans and goals for the rest of the year and the next couple of years to come.
And, although I have goals for 2018 and beyond, they’re all quite vague. It’s a good thing for me, honestly – sometimes I get too fixated on goals and find it quite triggering to not “achieve”.
In 2018 I want to become more conscious of everything. I want to check in with myself and my mental health more, making a conscious effort to allow myself time to heal if it becomes necessary to do so. I want to reconnect with myself mentally and spiritually, paying attention to my moods and what causes them – getting to the source of everything.
I want to live and eat more consciously – living more ethically by consuming less meat and dairy, using less plastic, and living less materialistically. I want to treat my body with kindness – eating to fuel my body and my mind rather than eating to change my body.
I, unfortunately, can’t exercise for the time being because of a bad knee, but I want to move my body in ways I can. Walking more places, yoga if possible.
I want to push myself to be who I want to be. I want to work hard, but not so hard I burn out. I want to assess what I want from life and start paving the path to get there.
If I were to set myself some actual goals, there wouldn’t be many. One thing I want to do more in 2018 is capture memories. I love taking photos and I do it a lot for my blog, but not enough for actual memories. This was made obvious to me when I did a little 2017 look back on Instagram Stories yesterday and I had to use staged Instagram photos for most memories. I want to look back at photos and remember the moments and the feelings in which I took them.
Another thing I want to do more in 2018 is have some time away from screens every now and again. Even if that just means reading books more on an evening to give my eyes and brain a rest. I work on a computer, come home and blog or watch TV then go on my phone in bed and it’s draining sometimes.
Basically, in 2018, I want to care less about things that don’t matter but care more about things that do. I started in 2017 and I’m just going to continue allowing myself to grow. I really feel like 2018 is going to be my year.
I can only hope this post made any sort of sense. Thank you all for being so incredible throughout the highs and lows of my 2017. I hope you’re excited for 2018, and I hope you stick around because I’ve never felt more myself and I’m excited for what that will bring to my content.